Image from We Heart It
Today was beautiful. The sun was shining, the air was warm, and I felt like going for a walk. Him leaves for work at 3:30PM so I asked him to drop me off at the local supermarket on his way, about a 15 minute walk away from our house, and I would do some shopping and then walk home.
Before leaving, I asked him if I should wear my jacket, since he had just been outside with the dogs and knew what the temperature was like. He told me I wouldn't need my regular jacket and perhaps I should just bring a sweatshirt. So that's what I did.
After him dropped me off I bought some groceries (I'm making vegan cream of broccoli soup tonight) and headed to the drug store for a bread pan. On the way there I suddenly realized that Him had locked the door to the house when we left, and my keys were in my jacket pocket... on the back of a kitchen chair. Although I was a bit worried, I shrugged it off figuring the tenants on the top floor would be home and could let me through the house to our suit.
Turns out they weren't home. Because we live in a basement suit, we have bars on our windows. I was able to slide the windows open, and tried my best to squeeze my body through. I was only able to fit my head through, and scratched up my ears when taking it out. I could see the jacket that had my keys in it, but it was too far away for me to reach, even with my head through the bars. I searched the yard a bit and found some long wood beam type things that our landlord uses for her garden. I took one and tried to move the chair over to the window. I ended up knocking it over, on top of the jacket. I kept trying and shoved the chair and jacket along the floor, closer to the window, but they were still way too far down for me to reach with my hand. I grabbed a second piece of lumber and used them sort of like chopsticks, then started rotating them together so that the jacket rolled up a bit on itself and it created a stronger hold. When the jacket kept falling off I gave up and stuck my head through the bars again - almost getting my head stuck this time. All I could think was about those poor people who have to call the ambulance when they have parts of their bodies stuck in unusual places, like genitals in hot tubs or being stuck in a child's swing. I did not want to be one of those people.
After finally squeezing my head out again, I tried the twisting chop stick routine one more time and... success! I brought the jacket up to the window and was able to grab it with my hand. I got my keys out of the pocket, grabbed my grocery bags, and went inside. That's when I dropped a can of beans on my big toe.
I think there is a chance that the neighbors were watching me the entire time, laughing together and placing bets on whether I would get in or not. I'm also pretty sure I had plumbers butt the entire time.